Long Term Relationship
So this is where my advice is more valuable as I am an old timer in the relationship department. With 13 years under my belt, I’m hoping that this advice for long term relationship will be helpful to you.
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Always Have the Argument
Yes, you heard that right my loves and I know it sounds crazy. However, bottling up your thoughts and feelings could be so much more damaging to your relationship overall. If you know that something you need to say is going to cause an argument say it anyway. Once the argument is done you need to then talk about it. You need to apologise for anything that you have said that was uncalled for. More importantly, you need to both put forward something that you can ‘DO’ to change the situation and try to prevent this becoming a recurring problem. Be constructive and use this to strengthen your relationship rather than weaken it.
We are all humans. We all get annoyed and frustrated with pretty much every human once when we spend long periods of time with them.
The other problem with bottling your thoughts and feelings is you make ‘a list’ in your head. When the argument then erupts from nothing because of your/their list, you spew rage and anger and a whole list of things you don’t like about your partner right at their face. Also being on the receiving end of ‘the list’ is just awful so say what you feel when you feel it.
Make Time for Just You
I know this sound so obvious but it’s still something that people tend to not do. This does not just include doing what you want I’m afraid. That’s right sometimes it means embracing your partners likes to.
I am actually really lucky that my partner and I share the same interest in a lot of similar things, however, I am not a fan of space (not sci-fi but space lol) movies. I have watched countless space films in the last 13 years!
Trying something new that neither of you has tried is also encouraged as it’s easy to get stuck in a routine. The same restaurants, same evening tv routine…bleurgh. It’s life try and keep it exciting! This is your partner who you want and who should want to share those memories with you.
Also, don’t rely on your partner to be the one to initiate the time you spend together ALL the time. If you do feel it’s becoming a one-sided effort be sure to say something and hopefully this should help with not getting stuck in a rut.
Remember Everyone Wants to Feel Wanted
This is the most valuable advice I can give and it’s to want your partner. Want to spend time with them, want to get to know them as they develop and grow as a human. Something we are always doing as individuals. Want to take and interest in them and their life. How was their day, how was that important meeting? Want to be emotional and physical with them (within your own personal boundaries of course).
Then actually listen. Even if you don’t care about Sharon from the office wearing that ridiculous outfit again. Listen and pay attention and also expect nothing less in return.
Again this is a skill we lose when we get stuck in a routine of life and stick with it. So take that time once a day to want your partner so they know that they are.
Well, my loves I really hope this helped. Do you have any great advice for long term relationships? Do you need some? Please let us know in the comments below or pop over to my social media pages.
Lots of Love,