The Must Not Of
Hello my lovelies and I hope today finds you well.
The dating game is hard and let’s face it we can’t hand out a score card at the end of the date. This means when they don’t call us back we torment ourselves with the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘what did I do wrong?’. Well, today’s blog may help as I have asked my audience to fill me in on their top 10 big NO on dates. So if you’re struggling to get past that first stages of the first dates maybe take heed.
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It may make a lot of sense to try these sites if they’re local. This way the sites can whittle through and find matches based on mutual interest and personalities.
- Talking about exes-
Now I know this sounds really obvious but you would be surprised at how many times this has happened to people. Even if you get on great with your ex I would leave it until you have a more serious relationship to discuss the previous partner topic. I mean nobody wants to hear all your baggage on their first time getting to know you. It’s meant to be fun and easy, in the kindest way possible of course. I also feel if you can’t help but discuss and ex on a first date you’re not ready to be dating.
- Stay OFF your phone –
Again it is kind of obvious to not be on your phone and again you would be surprised as to how many people have had this happen. If you really need your phone for emergency etc. Let the person no but keep it in your bag or at least in a pocket. The trouble is it makes you look like your not interested and that is never a good impression. Be there and be present in the date or don’t bother with it at all.
- Thinking sex is 100% on the cards –
Yes, we live in a world where casual relationships are very common, however just assuming you’re getting the goodies because you got the date is not okay. People live their lives differently and even some said they would have sex on the first date but it should still not just be expected. This, of course, is true and this is why I say focus on getting to know the person first.
- Not having manners –
This varied from not being gentlemanly enough to bad table manners. Not waiting for both meals or just having inappropriate date conversation. I agree that manners are very important and can be the difference between furthering a relationship or not. Nobody wants a rude and arrogant partner and a 2nd or 3rd date is out of the question.
- Being over confident-
Translated to being a bit of an ass! This is a date so the bitchiness or banter can be left for another time and another person until you know each other better. No, I don’t want to hear you shouting profanities at your friends neither do I want to hear you bitch about your other friend. I think it’s that attitude some people have when they ‘Know’ they’re good looking and act accordingly with that.
Sometimes over confidence is the killer and that is no matter how good looking you think you are! So if you assume that ‘yeah I’m amazing so this is in the bag!’ you’re probably going to find yourself single for a while.
- Not offering to pay/Offering to pay-
Now, this was interesting to me as I asked this question on a twitter poll and at the time of writing this 25% of people found ‘Not offering to pay’ a turn-off. I found this interesting because we live in a time of such equality to just assume your date should pay surprised me. I always take the stance of whoever asks for the date should pay as they asked for the date!
- Not looking like their picture-
In the world of online dating, this seemed to be prevalent! The old using a picture from 5 years ago instead of a recent one! Yes, that’s right not looking like your profile picture.
Now I actually feel this is rooted in another problem we as a society have and that is judging people on how they look rather than other compatible factors. I do, however, understand that a mutual attraction is important for a relationship. If this happens to you may I suggest giving it a go! There was clearly something that attracted to you to that person and it would be a shame to waste an opportunity to get to know a great person.
Those on the other side using outdated photos. Own who you are or you will also find it hard to build relationships. People feel they’re being lied to straight off the bat and nobody will appreciate that.
- Not dressing appropriately-
Again this seems a little strange to me but if I turned up to a nice dinner venue wearing joggers and a vest…..Yes, I can see how that could be a turn-off. We all love a sloggy day on the couch but dressing well gives a good first impression so be sure you’re looking on point! Make the effort because if you can’t did you really want the date in the first place? Are you actually just wasting peoples time?
- Not being personal enough-
No, we don’t need the ins and outs of your day to day life. We also don’t need to know all your secrets but please try to let people get to know you! Yes, dates can be nerve racking but they have a purpose. They designated times of fun activity to be used to get to know each other. Try to give something personal to your date whether that’s hobbies or activities you like or people in your life who you really care about. It can be difficult to open up to what could be a stranger but at letting them know WHO you are is very important. A lot of people I spoke to said that trying to carry a whole conversation was more than awkward and tedious! Be sure to ask some questions to your date to.
- Try to be yourself-
A lot of people complain about the person they’re dating ‘changing’ once they’re together. I have also seen this myself with people I know. At the beginning of a relationship, it is always worth noting you’re both going to be more interested, nicer and you’re probably going to lie. “Yes, I love sci-fi films!”
However, this doesn’t help in the slightest because then you’re getting more serious you’re not so nice and low and behold you don’t even like the things you said you did! This is why it is so important to be yourself from the start. This way others can make a more informed decision if you’re compatible. Being honest is key!
Well, my lovelies I hope this little insight into dating will help you in your dating journey. All of these points seem really obvious but are clearly still rife in the dating game. What’s your top tip for dating? Let us know below in the comments and I’ll speak to you soon.
Lots of Love,